Kanda's Realization
by GeneralEtnaTanaka
Summary: This is about Kanda and my OC, Etna Tanaka. Etna once training with Kanda, they have a strong bond. But, when Etna nearly faces death and possibly undergo a mental break-down, Kanda realizes he has feelings for her.
1. Memories

Author's Note: The show D. Gray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to it's creator. I also have no intentions in making any financial benefits for this is strictly fan-made.

Author's Note: This story takes place to when Yuu Kanda realizes his 'feelings' for my character, Etna Tanaka.

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Yuu Kanda was lying on his bed in his room. Like always, he was on his side, staring at the hourglass at his bedside. There was no emotion on his pallid features as he watched the lotus flower carefully. He was holding his breath as if one of the petals were to fall and flutter to the golden bass at that very moment.

After some time, he gave out a soft sigh before turning onto his back, his forearm over his sapphire hues. Something was bothering him. But what? It was not exactly a bad feeling. Just not a _normal_ feeling. The fact that he was unable to distinguish such a feeling annoyed him greatly.

Out of nowhere, an image flashed into his head. It was an image of a young brown-haired girl with a small smile painted on her face. Green and gold hues were staring back at him as her cropped short hair framed her face.

The Japanese samurai gasped, sitting up.

Why did she pop into his mind right there? There had to be a reason. Somehow, he connected the memory with the bad feeling he felt just moments before.

He brought his eyes to his window. It was a perfect view of the full moon. It was than did he realize why Etna appeared on his mind. Though, he could not determine why a bad feeling came along with it. The reason was because the following day would be the day he first met the girl.

His sapphire hues narrowed slightly, a semi-smile appearing on his face as he thought about that day…

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It all started five years ago, when he was only thirteen. After returning to Head-Quarters from a mission, that idiot Komui instructed him to check up on a patient in the medical wing. Why that idiot makes him waste time on such things, he did not know.

Because he took orders from Komui, he did exactly as he was told; an agitated sway to his step. When he got to the room, his cold eyes scanned the surroundings. Komui said that the patient he was checking up on would be obvious. A sweat drop glided down the back of his head. Of course it would be easy to tell. There was only one person in the room.

That Japanese Exorcist sighed deeply as he walked deeper into the room. He stood over the girl's bedside, wondering if she was new here. She had to be. He has never laid his eyes on her since his arrival here, three years ago. Was she an Exorcist? Or one of those annoying Finders? And why was she here? She seemed unharmed. No wounds.

He examined her peaceful expression. Her hair was cropped short – almost boy like. Her skin was pale and smooth, bringing out the red tints in her hair. She looked completely healthy, had there not been an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose.

Kanda sighed even deeper as he pulled up a chair. His sapphire eyes fell on the clock; counting the minutes. He was told to wait here until Komui came. Just how long did he plan on making him wait, he wondered. More than likely, that crazy Scientist would take his time just to annoy him.

Kanda unhooked Mugen from his hip and placed it on his lap. It was very rare for him to be parted from his sword-shaped Innocence. Wherever he went, he always had it with him. No matter what.

He closed his eyes, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he waited. A cool breeze blew in from the window and his dark blue locks billowed in the slight wind. His long bangs swayed to the side rhythmically, tickling and teasing his skin.

"E-Excuse me… I-Is that a s-sword?"

Yuu Kanda opened his eyes in alarm at the sound of the raspy voice. He was alarmed. He didn't sense anyone walk into the room. His eyes roamed the room once more before falling on the girl on the bed. Her eyes were open half way, though she seemed to be a little disoriented. He stiffened, standing once more. Shouldn't he go get Komui now?

"Excuse me..? Is that a sword?" she asked again, her voice wavering.

Kanda rose a brow. It was only know that he realized that there was something off with her eyes. Her right was green while her left was gold. He cleared his throat. "What does it look like to you?" he barked back gruffly. But, he instantly regretted it. He bit down on her lower lip, wishing that he was at least a little nicer. She just woke up from some kind of comma, for Heaven's sake!

"You're just like…" she started to say, but than stopped. He noticed her odd eyes start to glisten with tears.

Great. Just great. He made her cry. He walked closer to the girl, placing a hesitant hand over the blankets as he stared down at her. She looked so innocent. And so small. What was she doing here in the first place?

"My name is Etna Tanaka. And you are?" the brown-haired girl asked. He could see her lips pull up in a small smile under the foggy mask. She lifted her hand and pulled the mask off. Kanda was about to stop her, but was unsure if he should.

"Kanda. Just Kanda." He answered. There was no need to tell her his first name if he will just get mad about it. When Etna attempted to sit up, his hand pushed her shoulder down gently. "I don't think you should be sitting up just yet. Wait until Komui gets here." He muttered in a serious tone. He took a step back when the girl looked up at her with wide eyes.

"But Kanada-san, my back hurts." She complained. Her lower lip jutted out slightly with a slight pout. So, she was Japanese? Kanda thought to himself. Than, his eyes blinked a few times, barely realizing what she has just called him. "My name is Kanda." He said in an annoyed tone.

"Aw, Kanada sounds better." Etna interjected with crossed arms.

Kanda sighed deeply, helping the girl sit up. Where was Komui? His eyes fell on Mugen, remembering she was interested in the sword. "So, you like swords?' he asked in a small voice. He was normally not one up for conversation, so he did not know if he was taking the right approach.

Etna's eyes beamed as she stared at his long blade. Her head bobbed up and down, her brown locks bouncing. "I do. They're so fascinating. You see, my father was a blacksmith back at Japan. He made the most beautiful swords ever. He used to train me, and I got pretty good." Her voice was high pitched and happy. But, after she realized what she was saying, she looked down with saddened eyes.

Kanda did not press her any further. If she did not want to say more, he was not going to force her.

He jumped in surprise when Etna swung her legs over the edge of the bed and attempted to stand. Her knees wobbled under her weight, and she grabbed onto his elbow for support. "Hey, careful!" he snapped, slinging a hand around her waist to keep her upright. "Sorry." Etna muttered as he guided her back onto the bed.

Kanda sighed deeply, shaking his head. Something poking out from under the blanked caught his eye and he picked it up. It was a long sword, slightly longer than his own. When Etna saw it, her eyes widened in fear. She grabbed it and looked it over with frantic hands.

"Now I remember what I am doing here… This is.. My Innocence." She clutched the sword to her chest and started to cry. Kanda fidgeted at the spot. He had no idea in how to handle tears. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, outstretching a hand to pat her shoulder. She stopped crying, but only for a second. The next thing he knew, she was collapsed into him and crying onto his should—

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He was brought back to reality when there was a loud pounding on his door. His sapphire hues fell on the metal frame before he grabbed his Mugen. Swinging his legs over the edge, he pulled on his Exorcist coat over his bare chest.

While buttoning up the collar, he walked towards the door and twisted the handle. "What is it? It is the middle of the night." He snarled in an annoyed tone. Sapphire met emerald as he stared into the eyes of the Bookman in training, Lavi. He was breathing heavily with sweat dewing on his face.

Kanda was alarmed, his hand resting on the hilt of Mugen as a reaction. "What happened?' he asked, taking a step forward.

Lavi was bent forward, trying desperately to catch his breath. Kanda tapped his foot in impatience as he waited for the red-haired Exorcist to re-collect himself. Finally, at long last, Lavi stood upright. Kanda took a step back in alarm when the Bookman grabbed his shoulders. What was going on with him? This was so unlike Lavi,

"Kanda. It's Etna. She's badly injured and may go back into a mental state!"

Kanda's eyes widened in alarm and surprise as Lavi's words echoed in his head. That was why he had a bad feeling before. Why was he only informed now! He pushed aside Lavi and ran forward. If she was injured, more than likely she would be in the medical wing. He was glad he did not have to ask. That would just waste time.

_Wait for me, Etna. I am coming!_

He thought to himself as his arms pumped by his side and turned a corner.

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Author's Note: Wow. I really like this story line. I might actually continue it. Sorry the wording isn't exactly good. This was done at two in the morning.


	2. Jealousy

**Author's Note**: The show D. Gray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to it's creator. I also have no intentions in making any financial benefits for this is strictly fan-made.

**Author's Note**: This story takes place to when Yuu Kanda realizes his 'feelings' for my character, Etna Tanaka.

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Kanda turned down the winding halls. When he finally got to the hall in which the medical wing was held, he saw both Lenalee and Komui standing infront of the door. Lenalee was shaking her head to a question, and Komui sighed deeply with a hand to his chin in thought.

He was able to distinguish worry and upset – even in the dimly lit hall – on their expressions. Yuu Kanda staggered forward; moving as if moving at slow-motion. His sapphire hues fell on the door that the two Chinese Exorcist stood in front off. Without a moment's notice, he was at the door. His hand was on the knob, shaking slightly. When he twisted it, he swore to himself for the door was locked.

"Is she okay? What happened?" he demanded from the two as he whirled around. Both Komui and Lenalee took a cautious step back before looking at him in sympathy. He really wished that they would wipe their faces clean from that expression. It sickened him. He did not need _sympathy_. After a moment or so, Kanda finally dragged in a calming breath.

"Kanda, it isn't really good," Komui started after clearing his throat. The Japanese Exorcist clenched his hands into deadly fists by his side. "General Yeeger, he uh, got attacked. Etna was caught in the middle."

When Komui finally spat out the information, Kanda's eyes widened in surprise. "By who?"

"We believe by the Noah clan. They are in search for the 'Heart'. For some reason, they believe that the Marshals have them. So, that was why General Yeeger was targeted. Of course, that also explains why Etna was involved," Komui smiled to himself cheerlessly as he adjusted his glasses. "We know how much Etna hates running away. When Allen Walker and Lenalee got to the scene, Yeeger was bounded to the tree by his own Innocence," Komui sighed deeply, looking down. "As for Etna…"

Kanda held in a breath. His pulse was pounding loudly in his ears now as he waited for the Supervisor to continue. Why did he pause? The tension was killing him. Why where they beating around the bushes? He needed to know, now!

"As for Etna," Komui finally went on. "They found her nearby pinned to a tree by her own sword. The blade was dangerously close to her heart. If Allen and Lenalee came any later, she would not be…" he was unable to continue the horrible statement as he looked away once more.

"Why is her door locked?" Kanda asked in a distant voice. He could not believe what he was hearing. Anger seethed in his blood. Anger far greater than ever. It was clear in his eyes. His expression. There was nothing holding back the raw emotion.

Lenalee sighed. "She locked the door. She won't let anyone come in except for Allen-kun. Whenever we try, she breaks down again." The female fiddled with the ends of her long, raven hair absently as she stared at Etna's door. The state they found the older girl was just nerve-racking. Her face was morphed in pain. Her odd, mismatched eyes were filled with horror. And the song that Yeeger sang until his death continued to ring in her head. She shivered.

"Why Bean Sprout?" Kanda asked bitterly. A new wave of anger engulfed him as his eyes narrowed. Komui noticed the hardened gaze and smiled faintly to himself. He could see how Kanda hated the idea of Etna being locked up with Etna. In fact, Komui did not like it that much either. But, if it calmed Etna down, how could he go against it? Whenever Allen was around, she seemed at least some-what stable. She wasn't screaming over every single sound. He did not understand why only Allen seemed to help, but he did. The Scientist felt so useless at the moment.

"I think it is because they're the same." Lenalee interrupted Komui's train of thought. The two males looked at the girl in sudden interest, wondering where she was going with this. What kind of thoughts could be swarming in her mind?

"Etna is _nothing_ like that damn Bean Sprout!" Kanda interjected.

Lenalee simply ignored him.

"What I meant by them being the same, is that Allen understands how it is to be cursed. Maybe that is why Etna is allowing him to comfort her." Lenalee finished with a sigh, leaning against the wall.

The three fell into silence as her words seemed to have hung in the air.

It made sense, really. And Kanda did not like it. Allen and Etna had something in common. It was only one thing, but it was a big thing. A new feeling came over him. It was a feeling he has never felt before. It left him breathless. It made it hard for him to breath. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest. It was like poison.

"Well, there is nothing we can do." Lenalee sighed as she looked at her older brother. Komui nodded sadly. The two looked at Kanda now. "I am staying." Kanda said firmly as he slumped against the wall opposite to Etna's room. He slid down onto the floor and sat crossed-legged. His Mugen was balanced onto his lap as he stared at the door intensely.

He heard both Komui and Lenalee sigh deeply before shuffling away. They were really worried for the dark-haired Exorcist. This was so unlike him. It was not a normal thing for Kanda to actually _show_ that he cared. If he did care about someone, he usually did his best to hide it. But, when it came to Etna, they knew that the fact was out in the open.

After some time, and all was quiet, Kanda started to fall asleep. His lids became heavy as his head nodded forward. His arms were crossed over his chest, though, they started to slowly become limp. The halls were so quiet, it was almost as if he were back at his own room where no sound can really bother him.

Before falling into a light sleep, he realized something. He realized what emotion he was feeling early before when he found out that Etna was locked up in a room with Allen Walker. There were no real explanations out there other than such. _It was jealousy._

He was jealous of Allen Walker. Heh. Go figure. Allen Walker was connected to Etna in a way that he could not. It was rather understandable that he would feel such a strong emotion. The two were burdened with a horrible gift. Sure, the two may not be exactly the same – But a curse was a cure no matter how you put it. The two were able to tell whom was an Akuma. That must be something horrible to bear. If he could, he would try to relieve Etna from such a horrible thing. But he can't.

After he pondered about it some more, the thoughts slowly escaped him as he started to fall under…

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**Author's Note:** Well, that was shorter than I thought. But I hope you all enjoy it. Unfortunately, it may take me a while to progress it since school will be starting soon. But, this is a fan-fiction that I am eager to finish. So expect more. But, I only ask that you be patient with me.


	3. Confession

Author's Note: The show D. Gray-Man does not belong to me. It belongs to it's creator. I also have no intentions in making any financial benefits for this is strictly fan-made.

Author's Note: This story takes place to when Yuu Kanda realizes his 'feelings' for my character, Etna Tanaka.

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Kanda did not sleep long. Within the next hour or so, he was wide-awake from a horrible dream – or nightmare even. In this dream, he saw his own death. And the one who 'killed' him was Etna herself. When he walked into his room, he came across a heart-wrenching sight. Etna was sitting on his bed while holding the hourglass that contained his lotus flower inside. But there was something off about her. Her skin was an ash gray, and there was a single cross at the center of her brow. The next thing he knew, Etna sneered at him. And, at that moment, the lotus flower withered away. Thus, ending his life.

That was when he jostled awake in cold sweat. He looked around in slight confusion when he found himself in an empty hallway. It was than did everything come back to him. He remembered why he was here in the first place. He was here because of Etna. She came back, but in critical condition – of course. Same old Etna, he supposed. And, to make matters worse, he could do nothing for her. He thought that the least he could do is sit by her bedside while she recovers. But no, he could not do even that. The one who was by her side was that damn Bean Sprout, Allen Walker.

It was just another reason to hate him, however.

Kanda sighed deeply as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He always enjoyed seeing Etna. She was probably one of the few people out there whom he had no problems confiding to. After all, the two were the same. The two were swordsman. They both bore samurai pride. But, that was just one of the many other reasons. He did not exactly know. Maybe it was because Etna always listened without judgement. Or maybe because she knew when to or not to pry. One thing he liked about her most is that she always knew when to mind her own business.

Etna was surely something.

As time went on, he waited. And waited. But, waiting suddenly became agonizing for him. Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes felt like hours. It was pure torture. He wanted that door to open and Etna to step out with that ridiculously care-free smile like she always did. He wanted her to call him by that annoying name, Kanada. But, most of all, he wanted to be by her side. More than anything.

As if God has answered his prayers, the door infront of him finally creaked open. His head snapped upwards as he stumbled to his feet anxiously. But, when a white-haired boy came through, he let out the breath in disappointment. His shoulders slumped and his hands clenched into fists by his side.

"How is she?" he muttered gruffly to the boy. He did not like talking to the younger Exorcist. Not even when he needed to. But he needed to know. Was Etna okay? That single question was pounding in his head; making his temples throb.

His teeth grit together when Allen shook his head lightly in distress. When Allen stepped forward and into the dim light, Kanda noted how horrible he looked. He would have said something had it not been for the situation they were in. Allen Walker's hair was messy in angles that shot from every direction. His eyes were drooped and dark shadows outlined his gray-blue orbs. The poor boy looked utterly exhausted.

"She asleep?" Kanda asked, softening up. There was really no need to add to the other's stress. He looked like he was about to pass out on him soon. Sure, he hated the guy. But that did not mean he had to abuse him in such a way. But, of course, if he did pass out, there was no way he will help him out, either. He would just simply leave him out there on the cold floor.

Allen nodded his head, yawning before looking back. "I finally managed to get her too sleep after who knows how long. And her wound was pretty deep." He muttered dully. An image of Etna when he first met her popped into mind, and he smiled lightly to himself. But that image was quickly replaced by another. Etna pinned to the tree, almost bleeding to death came up, and he shuddered in repulsion. It was such a horrible sight. And her scream. How will he ever get such a scream from out of his head? She seemed to have been through such agony.

"I'm surprised you even cared." Allen muttered, looking at the taller Exorcist now. Sure, he was trying to get his mind off the screams, but he really was surprised that Yuu Kanda would be concerned over someone like Etna Tanaka. He just did not see this coming. However, when Kanda sent him a cold glare, he shook his head. He didn't really have the energy to be handling this kind of stuff.

Without another word, Allen Walker passed by Kanda and headed back to his room for a well-deserved nap. He had a feeling that he would not be needed and that Etna would be fine. If someone as explosive like Kanda was keeping watch, he highly doubted anyone would be straying through these halls.

When Kanda could no longer hear the other boy's footsteps, he boldly entered the room. He looked around with a grimace. There were indention on the walls and fallen objects. Blood stained the floor. The wallpaper was torn and tattered. He surely did not envy anyone who had to fix up the mess.

Finally, his sapphire hues fell on the bed. A girl was fast asleep under the covers. If only her expression was peaceful like it always was when in slumber. But, not this time. His steps were sluggish as he moved forward. Or rather, attempted to. His knees were shaking as the anxiety became thicker in the air. When he finally got to her bed-side, it took all that he could not to yell out in frustration. Etna Tanaka was strapped to the bed. Her face was covered in bandages and sweat was dampening the blankets.

With a shaking hand, he touched his long digits to her brow and swore under his breath. She was running a temperature. A high one, too. She was probably over 100 degrees! Did she bot know how to take care of herself! Kanda started to pace around the room to calm himself down. There was no point in getting upset. Plus, he did not want to awaken Etna.

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**One hour later…**

Kanda was sitting on the chair now. The very chair Allen was sitting at while he was trying to sooth Etna down and help her fall asleep. One would think that he would have fallen asleep, but he just simply could not. Whenever Etna whimpered in pain in her sleep, it just jostled him awake once more. It would be nice to capture a good hour of sleep at the moment, but he did not want to risk it. He wanted to be there when she awakens.

And he never thought that time would come. The girl on the bed finally stirred with a terrified scream. When she did, he was at her side. "Etna! Shhh. I-It's okay. Everything is okay." He tried to calm her down. He thought it worked when she became still, but the next thing he knew, she was thrashing about angrily. She was pulling at the bindings – kicking and screaming.

Kanda placed a firm hand on her shoulder to hold her down, and she finally calmed. The two were breathing heavily as they tried to catch their breathes. All the while, Yuu Kanda was staring intensely at Etna's beautiful, pale face. Her dark bangs were covering her eyes and he could not help but notice that her hair was longer than before. She must have grown it out like she promised him she would.

After a minute of silence, Etna tiredly turned her head to him. He was holding his breath now, and he swore his heart stopped beating when he saw her eyes. There was no brightness in the girl's eyes like there usually was. They looked dead and emotionless. He did not recognize them. They were the same mismatched colors, but there was no connection to the Etna he knew…. And loved.

She was like a complete stranger to him…

"K-Kanada-kun?" she rasped in a small and hoarse voice. When she spoke, Kanda snapped out of it and kneeled by her side. His hand unthinkingly grabbed her strapped up hand while his other hand brushed aside wisps of her tangled locks. "I'm here." He assured her softly. His heart started beating once more when he smiled weakly at him.

There it was. There was that smile of hers. The one he has been waiting so long to see. Finally, at long last.

"Why are you here?" she was bold enough to ask.

Kanda snorted, rolling his eyes at the foolish girl. How can she question him? Couldn't she see how much he cared for her? He thought that of all people, she would. But apparently not. But maybe it was better that way. There was no reason in why someone as magnificent as Etna would be interested in him in the slightest. Maybe Allen Walker because they were both cursed. Or Lavi since they were childhood friends. But not him. Most definitely not him.

"What do you mean? Because I wanted to." Kanda muttered in reply. Etna smirked slightly at him, but he noticed a hint of disappointment behind them. What did he say wrong? Was that not what she wanted to hear? Or maybe she did not want him here at all. He would understand if she didn't.

"Oh, I see." Etna muttered with a sigh before peeling her eyes away from the dark-haired man. She was staring at the ceiling with no purpose. "Kanda-kun?"

Kanda looked from the floor to the girl's face when she referred to him as his actual name – and not the nickname she gave to him. She only did this when they were at battle (sometimes) or when things get serious. He swallowed before answering. "Yes?"

Etna turned her head to him once more with intense eyes. "What do you think of me?"

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise and his heart pounded in his chest….


	4. Desires

Author's Note: I take no credit for the anime, D. Gray-Man. The anime belongs to Katsura Hoshino I also have no intentions on making any money off of this.

Author's Note: There may be a lot of typos due to the fact that I am using my new laptop and I currently do not have Microsoft Word right now. So, I ask that you bare with me.

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"Never mind. Just forget it. I shouldn't have asked anyways." Etna sighed, turning her head away from him. There was regret in her clouded eyes now. She regretted ever asking. She could only hope that he would just drop it and forget like he normally did. But, more importantly, she hoped that he would not figure out why she asked in the first place. This was the first time she has ever had such feelings for someone, and she was afraid of rejection. After all, she was not expeienced in such things. Fighting and destroying Akuma was her forte, not showing her emotion. She did not even think it was possible for her to feel such emotions in the first place. Etna felt Kanda undo the binding closest to him and used her free hand to undo the other. And all the while, she avoided looking at him.

Kanda sat on the chair again, staring at Etna distantly as she stared at the wall. What did he feel about her? Heck, he did not know. Etna was different. She was not like everyone else at the Order. She made him feel like he was not a freak at all like some others do. Because he can heal faster than any human being, it made him stand-out more than he already did. But, Etna did not see him that way. She saw him as the Samurai he was. She also saw him as a friend and nothing less. He recalled many times he was grateful that Komui sent him to check up on her all those years ago; rather than anyone else. If he wasn't the one who went, than maybe the relationship between the two probably would not be the same. She would most likely be just like any other person at the Order whom he would not bother to make converse with.

As he thought about those things, his heart pounded harder and harder in his chest. It was almost painful, but a pleasan. His mind made no connection between the words 'pain' and 'pleasant', but there was no other way to explain it. And, what bothered him even more, is that he could not find the reason in why his heart was beating so hard -- Especially when... He thought about Etna.

Maybe he did know how he felt about Etna. He would not admit it out loud -- In normal circumstances. Plus, no one would probably not care -- But it was there. The strong feelings were there. _He was in love with Etna._ There was no denying it. That would exlain why his heart was pounding so hard. That would explain why he seemed to be so upset when she left to train with General Kevin Yeeger. Why he always waited for the day she returned home from a mission or travel. Now that he has admitted such a dainty fact, the emotion became increasingly stronger than it was before.

"Etna," Kanda said her name softly, a small hint of longing behind it. When the auburn-haired girl turned her head slowly to him, he dragged in a steadying breath. "Etna-chan, about your question," -- his heart pounded excitedly in his heart when he refered her as '-chan' for the first time in so long -- "I have an answer for you."

Etna Tanaka forced herself upright at his words; ignoring his protest against it. Gritting her teeth all the while, she finally got into a position where she could lean against the head-board. Without saying anything through her heavy breathes, she looked at Kanda with her hands on her lap. Kanda recognized the expression on her face as the face she used when she was listenting to a story intensly. He has seen it so many times before, after all.

"Etna-chan, listen. I-I don't know how to say this...." he stopped, wondeing why he could not go about this calmly without stuttering. Like Etna, he was unexperienced in matters such as this. This was new to him even more than Etna since he did not 'exactly have that many friends'. "We've know eachother for so long," he continued, forcing the words out. "Y-You're different than the others. You see me as who I really am." he stopped, thinking through the next words.

Etna watched Kanda struggle while he spoke. That has never happened with her before. Normally, he confided to her without really having to think things through. He was usually open. Or was it only because he normally has to wait so long before he can go to her do to her missions and what not? It would make sense in a way. He would have time to think things through and time to find the right way to word his problems. Talking about his feelings like this, would most certaily be unexpected.

"So what is new?" Etna asked, interupting Kanda's train of thoughts. She did not want to put him on the spot. She wanted him to take his time and not feel like he was being forced to answer. That was just how Etna was. She hated making people do something they would not like to do. She had a strong sense of free will. Little did she know, she would soon be given the power to strip the people of the Order from their free will as a General. But, even than when that does happen, she does not use her tittle as General to boss people around.

Kanda looked at Etna's face and smiled some. He knew very well what she was doing. Like always, she was making things much more easier for him. Her question was giving him time to brace himself for the answer. Though, he wondered if she was able to figure it out on her own. Maybe her stuttering was too obviouse? But than again, he knew Etna. Etna might have figured him out... Or she might think that he was trying to find a way to spare her feelings. He mentally sighed to himself.

"There is this new Exorcist who annoys me." Kanda blurted, looking at Etna with the same glower he usually wore. But, his frown was lighter and a little bit warm rather than cold. He could not help but notice he dim light in her eyes, and he took in a breath of relief. At least there was some kind of emotion showing on her face. Wouldn't it be horrible if she became as emotionless as he?

There was an amused grin on Etna's face now. Shaking her head lightly, she casted him her signature smile. "More annoying than Lavi?" she asked with slightly risen brows. Kanda thought about it. "They're pretty much the same." Kanda answered bluntly, closing his eyes as he rested his hands on his knee-caps.

Etna gave out a light giggle. "I see, I see." was her response to his words.

Kanda grinned at her without opening his eyes before answering. But soon, as he was about to continue, his curled up lips twistes down into a deep glower. Would Etna grow upset with him if he told her? After all, the one he was talking about was the one who was suporting Etna before he came in. He was willing to take the chance. "His name is Allen Walker."

He could not help but notice how Etna stifined at the name. At that very moment, he felt the emotion of jealousy again. But this time, it was much more stronger and violent. It was very much possible that Etna has fallen for the other male. Even though the probably just met, it was not exactly impossible. He did not really believe in the term -- Or at least won't admit it to himself -- 'love at first sight', but with Etna and Allen; that might as well have been the case.

But what surprised him was how Etna was smirking at him right now. His brow furrowed in confusion as his lips parted to speak. but, before any words could leave him, Etna started to speak. "I had a feeling that you would. You two don't really seem like the type of people to get along with one another." her lips curled up into a wide grin now, and Yuu Kanda felt his cheeks become warm as he flushed slightly.

"Che." Kanda snorted, crossing his arms and turning his head away. His sapphire eyes were closed half-way as he glared at the bare walls. Black-blue locks of hair blurred his vision, but that did not really bother him nor mattered. "If you're woried about me liking Allen-kun, I don't." Etna sneered in a tone of mockery. Kanda looked at her. Surely she figured it out if she said that. But, there was no way to be sure.

"Is that all that has been bothering you?" Etna asked, bringing her fingers to her lips. "Other than the usual, I mean." she added quickly, referring to the gosspiping Finders. Kanda leaned back in the chair and sighed. He knew that there was one way to determine if she figured her out already. And that is to say it out loud. At the thought, his heart pounded even harder in his chest.

"I love you."

There. He said it. He really said it. His mind still failed to comprehend why three simple words were so hard to spit out, but it was. But, saying it out lou made him feel incredibly better. It was as if some heavy weight was lifted from his shoulder. So much, it was easier to breath.

When he saw the shocked expression on Etna's face, his brow furrowed. Did that mean that she never figured it out? But, he swore that she did. ow could she have not? Suddenly, a wave of worry over-came her. He was scared of what may happen next. He has never had his heart broken before. But, he has heard that it was a horrible experience.

"R-Really..?" Etna stuttered.

As she spoke, Kanda closed his eyes softly and grit his teeth together. He was bracing himself for the rejection. If he did so, than maybe it would not hurt as much. But what happened next, he did not expect to happen. Far from it.

"I am glad, Kanda-kun. Really, really glad."

Her words were ringing in the older Exorcist's ears. Over and over again. They repeated in his mind repeatedly as if she were some kind of broken record. Did he really hear her right? Or was he just hearing what he wanted to hear?

"..." Yuu Kanda was unable to say anything. The wheels in his brain was not turning to create words -- Shocked by her words.

Etna swung her legs over the bed and tried to stand. But, the moment she did, she started to fall forward. It was like when they first met all over again. Instantly, Kanda rose to his feet and caught her by the elbow. "You baka. You should be more careful." he muttered. His voice was annoyed at first, but it quickly dropped and died when Etna looked up at him.

His pulse pounded in his ears loudly like drums. Everythng was muffled out by the defening sound. Through his eyes, the only thing that he could see was Etna. It was as if the entire room has faded into black and they were the only beings living in this new world. And frankly, he did not mind that so much. In fact, he wanted it. His heart yearned for it. To be alone with her.. It was one of his guilty _desires._

"Kanda-kun, I-I've always, always liked -- No loved -- you since the day we met. When I first woke up, and yu were there, I felt deep inside my heart that there was so many things we have in common."

Kanda swallowed. He remembered how he did not believe in things such as love at first sight. But, he never expected that it would happen to him. And, to make matters even better, he was sharing that moment with the one he _really wanted to be with._

Without even saying anything, Etna understood that he, too, felt the same. They stood like that for a while; Etna Tanaka in Yuu Kanda's arms. Their hearts pounded in synch as they said nothing. The only sounds that filled the air was the sounds from outside and their breathing. But even their short, even breathes were nearly silent. Finally, after what felt like forever, their faces inched closer to eachother...


	5. Acceptance

**Authoer's Note**: Sorry for the late update! I have decided to continue after rereading it. Old memories sparked some inspiration ~

Suspense was in the air as the two neared each other. Lifting a hand, the dark-haired male brushed aside the girl's brown locks, with an unusual gentleness. It was as if Etna was a fragile China doll, that could and would break under the slightest pressure. Holding his breath, he allowed his brow to lay against her smooth, soft skin.

He hesitated for a moment, brow furrowing, as he waited to be certain that this was what she wanted. But all he could see in those mismatched hues that stared back at him was a bright light of wonder. Whatever dullness that remained was faint, smothered by the glimmering light. "Etna." He breathed out, finally, softly and tenderly; thumb stroking her heated cheeks.

Their lips touched, sending icy fire throughout both of their beings. It tingled with a pleasant pain, a sense of pleasure none has ever experience before. Lifting to her tippy-toes, the brunette brought herself closer against the other. Her dark lashes met as her eyes closed, breath a small pant against his lips. He tasted sweet, but a little bit like soba. She could not help but smile the slightest bit as she drew back, slowly, and quite reluctantly.

Neither said a word. The only thing they could hear was the pounding of their hearts. The only thing they knew was each other, embracing one another with no desire to ever let go.

Finally stepping back, Etna smiled warmly at the other, a small giggle following suit through thin lips. "Kanada-kun ~" she all but chirped, affection deep in her tone. However, her features went ashen once more, an eye winced closed. All this excitement was exerting her heart, causing her wound to throb. Shakily, the Exorcist girl stumbled back, letting the boy guide her back to the bed.

Once she was eased against the cushion, a deep sigh passed through her nostrils, sweat beading on her brow. Lifting a hand, she wiped at it, limb shaking from the effort. "I'm sorry.. That you have to see me like this." She muttered, as if ashamed, as she dropped her gaze to her neatly folded hands.

A brow lifted as the samurai looked the girl over. He made no comment about her unneeded apology. "Training with that General surely changed your mannerism." He commented, a small smirk playing at his lips. When gold and green lifted to meet his sapphire orbs, it took all he could to not chuckle in amusement. "It's true." He boldly claimed, seeing the fire of denial light in her eyes.

"You're unbelievable," the brunette grumbled, shaking her head. However, there was a smirk on her face as she eased against the backboard of the bed. Suddenly, her lids lowered halfway, appearing ten times more weary than she was moments before. As she pulled the blanket over her, she sighed, finding little to no relief to the cold night.

Kanda blinked, gazing about with hesitance before he walked closer to the cot. "Move over," he grumbled, ignoring the look of shock the girl shot him, though, she did do as she was bid. Sliding under the sheets next to the smaller form, he placed an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. All the while, there was a slight flush to his cheeks. "Che." He snorted as she muttered her thanks, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

Absent-mindedly, his long digits fiddled with her soft locks, his eyes staring ahead of him through half-closed lids. He remained as quiet and still as possible, as he listened to her warm breath start to slow into a smooth pace, signaling that she had fallen asleep. A smile graced the samurai's features as he dark hues dropped slightly, to fall on her slumbering' face, with a fond warmth.

The two had been through so much together. Their training sessions were vigorous, but no less fun. Etna was probably the only person under than he that found entertainment in the activity of training. They always shared a playful competition, and it was usually she who won. She was his companion, his only companion. He didn't mind her company, ever. In fact, he rather enjoyed it. She would always listen to what he had to say. She somehow, always, knew when there was something on his mind.

As he relived the memories they shared in his mind, he found himself falling under as well. His lids lowered more and more, head drooping forward. His breath came out more sluggish, muscles relaxing. Finally, his hand fell limp against Etna's warm shoulder, head hanging forward now, his head against hers.

Morning soon came, the bright glare of the sun seeping through the room's window. Dark blue hues blinked, wincing under the light before they quickly adjusting. Groaning slightly, the Japanese Exorcist lifted his head, peering about in silence. His attention drew to the source of warmth beside him, a moment of surprise entering his sapphire hues.

Recollection of the night before came to him, causing his cheeks to flush a slight pink. There, Etna Tanaka lay, curled up in his [i]his[/i] arms. He almost couldn't believe it. It was a miracle in It's own.

Slowly, Kanda slipped out of the bed, being sure not to stir the girl, sleeping on the bed – Not that it really mattered, she was a deep sleeper. As he bounced some on the bed, to determine that whether or not if that had changed, he sighed slightly with a shake of his head. Same as ever. No matter how much he bounced, she remained sound asleep.

Standing slowly, the long-haired Exorcist stretched his limbs over his head; relieving the crick in his shoulder. Lips drawing back in a cat-like yawn, he scratched at the back of his head, releasing the band that held his hair up. Shaking out his midnight locks, he let out a sigh as he slowly stepped forward, approaching the plane of glass.

Sapphire ears peered out the clear glass, out into the clear sky. Dropping his sights, he sighed slightly. He forgot that the medical wing was at the base of the Order. It made perfect sense, really. That way, it would be easier to get the injured into care.

Agitation came over his features as there was an obnoxious knock on the door. Doesn't anyone know that an injured girl was sleeping in this room! Storming forward loudly, boots thumping against the tiled floor, the Exorcist yanked open the structure from the hinges, eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you want?" he hissed, tone lowered.

His sights fell on the red-headed Bookman in training, who was now leaning against the wall opposite of him. Dark circles outlined his single, emerald hue. His lips were pulled up into the slightest hint of a smile, but it lacked the usual warmth. "Yuu-chan," he spoke out with a light drawl, sounding completely exhausted. Kanda could not even find the nerve to punish the Rabbit for using such a taboo name.

"She's fine," Kanda muttered, before Lavi could even ask. Relief took over his tanned features almost instantly, the smile growing now with meaning; reaching his emerald orb. "What a relief," the Bookman sighed, lifting a gloved hand, bare fingers rubbing at the back of his neck. "I've been worried all night." He admitted with a shrug, glancing to the side. Bookman had noticed – Of course – And warned him about it. But, how could he [i]not[/i] be worried for the young Exorcist?

"W.. Wait!" Lavi suddenly exclaimed, eye widening in surprise. "Did you spend the night in her room?" he guffawed, back unpeeling from the wall. "And you look like you've been sleeping on a comfortable bed – If Etna finds out, she's gonna freak! Yuu-chan, you naughty boy, you!" he sneered, obviously amused now.

This time, Kanda felt no remorse for the Rabbit. Hand falling on the hilt of his Innocence, he drew his blade and pointed the tip at the other, the point pressing a dimple against his throat. "Baka Usagi, don't call me 'Yuu', and just shut up." He growled, threateningly, with eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Calm down, calm down!" Lavi stammered, holding his hands up in surrender as he shrunk away from lethal blade. "Anyway, I have more business here, than just checking up on Etna."

Suddenly, the air grew serious. Kanda obviously noticed it, as he sheathed his Mugen once more. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he looked over his shoulder for a moment. Etna was still asleep, to his relief. Closing the door now, he brought his attention to the Bookman once more, arms crossing over his chest.

It was the single for him to continue.

"Etna is being promoted to General." Lavi blurted out, single orbed narrowed as well.


End file.
